Dear self,

Why did you watch videos that you knew would end up making you sad?  That was stupid.  You are stupid.  I don’t even like you.

Sincerely,

ameh.

Dear computer,

Just because I turned you off and left for the night does not mean it’s okay for you to pretend the touchpad doesn’t exist.  
Do you understand how hard it is to do anything without a mouse?  More than that, do you understand how hard it is to fix whatever you did, while having absolutely no idea what that was in the first place, when I can only navigate with a keyboard?
You’re being selfish.  Stop making me bend over backwards for you all the time.  Much more of this, and you’ll find yourself being completely replaced.

Sincerely,

ameh.

Dear Windows 7,

Fuck you.

Sincerely,

ameh.

dear everyone,

fuck you.  you are rude.  i am not your friend.

love,

ameh.

(also ari)

(ari also said you all suck.  i second this.)

Dear Google Chrome,

Please stop fucking crashing.  I have 12 tabs open that I’ve been meaning to read through, and it’s a pain in the ass waiting for them to be restored when you crash.
Also, new blink-182 in less than 2 hours.  Can’t you be happy?  Please don’t ruin this for me.

Love,

ameh. 

Dear tornado,

Supernatural starts in 10 minutes.  You are making the weather guys monopolizing my TV right now.
Kindly fuck right off for an hour.

Sincerely,

ameh. 

Dear Google,

Please stop giving me a 502 error when I’m just trying to watch videos on youtube.  I need to cry over this video game and you are preventing that.
It’s not appreciated.

Sincerely,

ameh. 

Dear Sims 3,

Hi.  I would like my life back, please.

Sincerely,

ameh.

Dear self,

Stop fucking procrastinating.  You wouldn’t have so much shit you need to do right now if you wouldn’t let it pile up, dumbass.
While you’re at it, learn to sleep instead of staying up all night doing absolutely nothing.

You deserve to be exhausted,

ameh. 

Dear Disney,

YOU DO NOT PUT A SONG ABOUT SEX AND CRYSTAL METH IN A MOVIE LIKE THE TIGGER MOVIE.
WHAT ARE YOU EVEN DOING.

Sincerely,

ameh. 

Dear mosquito that JUST FLEW INTO MY FUCKING EYE,

You could have committed suicide many ways - drowning in a cup of milk, sitting and letting me squish you, or, my personal favourite, getting caught by a vindictive little shithead kid and having your wings pulled off slowly and painfully.
Did you do any of those?  No.  You flew right into MY FUCKING EYE.  ONTOP OF BEING TEMPORARILY BLINDED, I’M NOW GOING TO DIE FROM WEST NILE VIRUS OF THE EYE.

THANKS A LOT, FUCKO.

ameh. 

Dear self,

Just because you haven’t had a TV in like 4 years does not mean you should talk to commercials when you finally get one.  When a lady sneezes in an allergy commercial, you do not say, “Bless you.”
Dumbass.

Grow a brain,

ameh. 

Dear Google Chrome,

Thank you for crashing suddenly.  I would like my 8 tabs back, please.

With love,

ameh.